Contrary to popular opinion, vegans can, in fact, take a joke. But there’s only so many times you can hear “how do you know if someone’s vegan? Don’t worry, they’ll tell you.”
Humor is subjective of course, so whether these jokes make you cry with laughter, let out a small chuckle, or roll your eyes so hard your pupils disappear, we hope you’ll enjoy them for what they are: sometimes charming, sometimes cringey, but never cheesy (get it?).
So without further ado, here are 10 of our top vegan jokes. (PS – we update this article regularly, so bookmark this page and check back again later!)
10 best vegan jokes
1. If you can’t afford to travel, go vegan. You’ll get stranded on 25 different desert islands.(Submitted by Neil, London)
2. Did you hear about the vegan devil worshipper? He sold his soul to seitan!(Submitted by Joanna, Bali)
3. Why did the vegan get fired? Their job performance didn’t meat expectations.(Submitted by Gerardo at PBN)
4. I met this woman today who said she recognized me from a vegan group, but I’d never met herbivore.(Submitted by Mohammed, Amsterdam)
5. What does a vegan zombie eat? GRAAIIIIIIIINS(Submitted by Lisa, California)
6. What do you call a vegan dinosaur? A Falafel Raptor.(Submitted by Jack at PBN)
7. What do you call it when one chickpea murders another?Hummus-cide(Submitted by Lisa, California)
8. An argument between two vegans is not called beef. Just two people with bad tempehs.(Submitted by Valeria, Spain)
9. How many vegans does it take to change a light bulb? Two – one to change it and one to check for animal ingredients.(Submitted by anonymous)
10. How many meat-eaters does it take to change a light bulb?None. They prefer to stay in the dark. (Submitted by Darrell at PBN)
Best fruit, vegetable, and vegan puns
Hungry for more vegan humor? Get creative with these 30 fruit, vegetable, and vegan puns.
1. Give peas a chance2. It was a wake-up kale3. This DJ really knows how to drop the beet4. The new car is great, there’s plenty of legume5. I don’t have mushroom at all6. Lettuce eat7. I love you so matcha8. Turnip the music9. It’s a little off-beet10. You’ve always bean like this11. I yam who I yam12. Soya bean up to much lately?13. Let’s not beet around the bush14. You’ve guac this15. Berry nice16. We make a great pear17. From my head tomatoes18. Let’s kale it quits19. Never soy never20. Needless to soy21. That was a close kale22. Let’s avocuddle23. Don’t settle for medi-okra24. It’s a pretty big dill25. Don’t kale my vibe26. Please leave melon27. They don’t carrot all28. You always have to have the final soy29. Everyone romaine calm30. Bean there, done that
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What are your favorite vegan jokes? We keep this article updated, so let us know in the comment section below for a chance to be featured! We also share vegan memes on Instagram.
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